I am lucky to live near the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, which I try to visit at least once a month. What a gift to have such beautiful surroundings in an urban environment. Usually I go to walk, meditate, and write. And often think about clients and their journeys.
In the world of #compassionatedesign, the emotional aspect of one’s surroundings is very top of mind. And for my clients who have often amassed a life’s worth of objects, papers, and art, not to mention sentimental furnishings, it’s a journey to reflect on all of these things during their leap into a new life stage.
And of course, this brings me to the caretakers. Many of us serve this role in one way or another for family members, whether it be looking after children, looking after parents, or looking after relatives. Depending on the time spent with these individuals and the amount of “care” they need, it can be draining. Thus the picture which is the focus of this post – because as I walked through the garden recently, I passed one of my favorite trees. This guy has been there a LOOONG time, maybe not as long as some of the bonsai trees in the greenhouse but still, a while. And he needs a little support. You see the size of the lumber supporting this tree’s limbs, and how embedded they are in the ground. This support has been around for a while and allows this tree to keep on going.
Caretakers often don’t take care of themselves – our “supports” are often not supported in the way they need to be, they’re too busy supporting the other people in need. But remember, as we are told on every airline flight, you must put your mask on before helping a family member. In caretaking, you must help yourself so you remain strong for others.
We see this a lot in the work I do, as I know so many of you in this field do. Once someone decides to downsize, or leave their current home for an assisted living facility, most often there is a caretaker behind it all, usually worn down but so steadfast in their love for the individual that they have trouble getting to this point. But when they do, they need support. And it is always such an honor to be able to provide this and make the process a bit easier. It eases the burden on the caretaker, and helps the individual know that they have someone else helping them to make decisions for the next life’s stage.
As always, if you have gone through this process or know others that have, we’d love to hear their story! Sometimes just sharing it with others is helpful to move through the process.
~ Kayne